SnowxLightning :  Caprice

Rating: Mature-ish, but no smut. Language etc, use your own discretion.

This fanction assumes Snow and Serah are still engaged.

So necessarily, if you’re a Serah fan, this may not be for you. As it is a SnowxLightning fanfiction, that deals with her still being there. This isn’t a happy-go-lucky story either. SnowxLightning is a love/hate relationship. I chose to write about how it gets that way, in all its pleasantries and ugliness. I tell it like is is, but add in my own fictional creativity.
Enjoy!

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Lightning awakened with a jolt. She took in a quick gasp of air, another reminder she was alive for one more day. She held that breath for a moment, just long enough for her racing mind to come to back to reality. Whether it was a dream or a nightmare means little to her now. After all -this is Gran Pulse- wild and untamed. The fire she had started for the night had long since gone out. She paused to compose herself and checked her equipment. She looked around and the team had already gotten up and headed out. Lightning looked around and was blinded by the harshness of the morning sun. Through the glare she managed to make out the silhouette of a tall, well-built man standing near the edge of a bluff. That is all she needed to see, she automatically assumed it was Snow Villiers.
“What in Cocoon's name could he possibly be doing?” She muttered angrily. She walked slowly toward him, leaving their encampment behind. Snow heard her coming and looked over his shoulder at her.

“Morning, Light.” He edged a smile from one corner of his face. “Sleep well?”

“Not one bit, say” she paused, “Snow-“

“ I’m not sure Lightning. I’m just not sure.” Snow’s smile faded.

“We’ll see her again, and soon.” Lightning walked further towards him, tugging on his trench coat. “

“I want to help you find your sister, Light.” Snow turned to her, “You know that I care about her very much.”

Lightning lowered her head. Her pale pink hair gracefully sliding with her movements. “I know”, was the only response she could muster. She was not even sure if she wanted to say anything more. A silence came over the two of them for a moment.
“We should keep moving then.  We need to find a way to rescue her,” He boldly proclaimed.

“Snow don’t you understand? We don’t even know what we’re up against. Even if we find her and rescue her she may never be the same again,” Lightning backed away. “I love my sister, but the she could never be the same again after something like this!”

“I do too!” Snow yelled, breaking his positive demeanor. “She just has to be all right!”

“But you’re too stubborn to admit something could happen,” Lightning was having trouble keeping her emotions in check. Both from the loss of her sister and being stuck with a man she never fully trusted. “You run ahead, and charge in figuring it will all work itself out in the end.”

“It’s not my confidence that gets us here. Take a look behind you,” Snow gestured at their encampment. “Fang, Vanille, Hope, Sazh, they all trust you with their lives. You think I’m the glue that holds this group together, then you’re sadly mistaken.” He turned away from her.

“Damnit Snow,” She pushed away from him. “You expect me to carry all of these burdens. Serah’s wishes, everyone’s Focus.”

“Then don’t Light,” Snow interjected. “Let me help you. You’re doing too much already.”

“I can’t let you do that,” Lightning spoke. “This is my Focus.”

“Forget your damn Focus Claire!” Snow yelled.

“We have one mission. To get Serah back,” She replied angrily. Snow was clearly frustrating her. “Don’t get in the way.”

“So I’m a liability is that what you’re saying?” Snow too was having trouble keeping his emotions out of the argument. “If you’d just let me help you-”.

“I can’t even function when you’re around!” Lightning said. She couldn’t look him in the eyes. “You make everything so difficult.”
“Light, give me a chance,” Snow pleaded.
“No,” Lightning quickly responded. “Why must you do this Snow? You’re the only one that does this to me.”

“Does what?”  He asked.

“You… get under my skin,” Lightning’s tone changed, she was on the defensive. She had just admitted the man she detests affects her. Despite her efforts to the contrary, this man -Snow Villiers- breaks her icy personality. Lightning feels uncomfortable around him, and what bugs her the most is that she is not sure if that is a good thing or bad thing. She let her guard down, and she let Snow into her life.

“Light I’m sorry,” He lowered his head. “I don’t mean to, you know that.”

That bothers her even more. That Snow unintentionally gets into her head. She cannot stand the thought of him being in there. After all, he is in love with her sister.
“I can’t do this Snow. I need to be away from you,” Lightning turned and walked away from him.

“Lightning!” Snow yelled and took three steps forward, but he knew running after her would do no good. So he turned back and gazed out across Gran Pulse again. Quickly his thoughts turned inwards about what she had said to him, and that she was affected by him.

“Light,” He whispered aloud, the sun beginning to warm his skin. Snow knew that he did not mean to hurt her. That is the last thing he wanted to do. He wondered that merely by being near her that she was becoming more and more uncomfortable. Snow wondered what he was doing was doing that making her uneasy. He continually went out of his way to help her any way he knew how, and yet she still remained hostile. But it had to be something more than that.

He remembered the awkwardness of Lightning’s surprise birthday party a year ago. Back then, Serah and Snow were not engaged, they had not even started dating. Snow remembered struggling with his feelings in that moment. That somehow he had left something unsaid that day, and he has regretted it ever since then. Snow had feelings for Lightning back then. He kept it bottled inside that day, and it only contributed to the awkwardness of the party. He was distant, and  quiet.

“Did she pick up on that?” Snow spoke aloud knowing no one but himself could hear. He looked around at the trees dotting the Pulse landscape, his mind now racing with thoughts of Lightning. He franticly shook his head trying to rid himself with thoughts of her. He was engaged. These thoughts would lead him down a path he did not want to go. Snow realized Lightning was doing to him what he does to her. She’s under his skin, creeping her way into his head. But it was more than that, he knew she had always been there. He just could not bring himself to admit it. Rather than dealing with this again, he locked away those thoughts. Snow composed himself and headed back to the camp. The others were waiting for him. His stride was markedly slower and his shoulders slumped. With each step though he regained his normal cheeriness and put on that characteristic smile.

It was a long journey through Taejin’s Tower to the village of Oerba. Undoubtedly, trials awaited them and danger was inevitable. Snow wouldn’t have suggested it if he thought there was another way. To rescue Serah though, it would have to be done.
“Ready to go?” He announced to the group. They all nodded in agreement but Lightning. However her body moved automatically with the group even though her mind was elsewhere. Snow took his place in front of the group, a distant as he could make himself from Lightning, while still being able to protect everyone.
“If we hurry, we can make it there before nightfall!” Vanille cheerily said, breaking the silence. She started skipping ahead. And so their journey today had begun.


—Inside Taejin’s Tower—


Lightning screamed out in pain. Her voice echoing through the tower’s interior.

“Lightning!” Snow yelled, his voice doing the same. He broke his guard and ran to her immediately.

Fang angrily jumped above the monster’s head and proceeded to impale her spear within its skull. Lightning then dropped to one knee breaking her fall barely with her sword. Snow skidded to a halt beside her, and then he kneeled down.

“Light, you’re hurt!” Snow cried.

“Obviously,” She uttered. She was clearly wincing in pain. She was holding her side with her left hand. Lightning has been grievously wounded by the monster they were fighting inside of Taejin’s Tower. She winced again stronger than before and groaned in pain. Blood began to show through her sleeveless coat. It was on her hand now. She pulled it away from the wound and let out a short scream. Snow immediately put his hand where hers once was. Lightning dropped her trusty Blazefire Saber and Snow watched helplessly as she dropped to both knees and almost collapsed. She tried to muster up some strength and push that detestable man away from her. In a last ditch effort to get him away she grabbed his arm with her bloody hand. He continued to hold her wound despite her efforts to remove his hand.

“Damnit Snow, I’m fine.” Lightning spoke. “I can handle this.”

“Like hell you can,” Snow jabbed back. “This is serious, Light. We need to find help.” He proceeded to wrap his blue and white sash that hung from his belt around her wound. The blood quickly staining it turned it a reddish purple. She was bleeding badly. She could not hold her eyes open any longer the pain was getting to intense. If this continued Lightning would pass out.

“Snow this isn’t good. We have to get to Oerba, and fast,” Fang said softly hoping Lightning wouldn’t hear. Lightning’s body finally gave out and she fell into Snow’s arms.

“Lightning!” He yelled holding her wound tightly. His sash was now covered in her blood. It was of little use now; she could not hear his cries. She was unconscious, and in serious danger.

“Fang lead us to Oerba quickly, we need to get her medical attention!” Snow pleaded.

“Follow me!” She yelled and Snow hoisted Lightning up quickly but gently. Adrenaline quickly set in and Lightning was as light as a feather.
Soon after the team reached the top of Taejin’s Tower.  With Fang and Vanille leading the way, the two of them peered over the edge, eager to see their village again. It had been more than a year now since they had last seen it. Just as quickly and they looked out over the tower they both stepped back.

“No…” Vanille said softly, her body crumpled to the floor.

“What’s the matter?” Snow asked, holding Lightning still in his arms.

“Are we almost there?”

Fang turned to him and said, “Hate to break it to you, but… Oerba is in ruins.”

“What?!” Snow yelled. Sazh and Hope went to confirm by seeing it for themselves.  “What do you mean in ruins?”

“It’s abandoned, it's a wasteland down there,” Fang said defeated. “Our village… it is gone.”

“What are we going to do? It’s going to be dark soon! Then we’ll never find her help,” Snow walked towards Fang and Vanille. “Please, we have to do something.”

“He’s right Fang, we have to help her!”  Vanille cried.

“If nothing else, at least we can find some shelter there,” Fang spoke after a moment of thinking,  “it’s the best we can do.”

“But if we don’t get her help, we might lose her!” Snow yelled.

“I’m not going to let that happen!” Snow charged ahead for what looked like some sort of elevator down the tower. The team proceeded to follow him.  Without saying anything else, they all knew their next destination. What was left of the village of Oerba.

Night had set in, and all they had to go on was the light coming from the open wound in Cocoon. A constant reminder of what they were dealing with. Lightning was bleeding out and her life was fading fast. They needed to stabilize her. Snow led the way clutching Lightning close to his chest. He could still hear her breathing but it was getting softer and farther between breaths. She was running out of time.

“Don’t quit on me Light, I never quit on you,” He whispered, knowing full well she couldn’t hear him. As the group got closer to what was left of Oerba they ran ahead of Snow to scout out the situation. There was no time for Fang and Vanille to get formally acquainted with what was left of where they grew up. Lightning’s life hung in the balance. They had to scan their surroundings for any building left standing with some protection from the elements. If they couldn’t find somewhere warm for Lightning and stabilized her; this was her last nice on Pulse, and her dreams of seeing her sister again would come to an end. But Snow was not about to let that happen without a fight.

“How about that building?” Hope pointed to a building that appeared to be mostly intact. It was deeper within the village on a lower level. Oerba was a quaint village but by Cocoon’s standards was ancient. Oerba had clearly seen better days. Most of the buildings were either destroyed or falling apart. It was clear there was no one living there currently. The village was overrun by a crystalline dust that at a distance was like shimmering sand. The husks of Cie’ths dotted the surrounding area, completing the image of a village lost to time.

“That should work!” Fang exclaimed, and the team followed suit. Snow rushed ahead with renewed vigor at the positive news. He ran up the sand covered stone steps and smashed through the decaying wood door with his broad shoulders. The light coming from Cocoon above flooded into the room as dust flew up from the crashing door slamming to the floor. Snow was breathing in and exhaling quickly as he was running through the house trying to find somewhere to lay Lightning down to stabilize her.  After some searching he found an old bedroom. It was as dusty as the rest of the rooms, and the bed was in poor shape. It clearly had not been used in some time. There was a small hole in the roof above the bed.

“This will do nicely!” Snow managed a smile thanks to his improving luck. It was a place for Lightning to rest through the night if she could make it through it. He quickly turned to Hope who was standing closest to him. He handed Lightning to him. Snow threw off the dusty worn sheets from the bed and exposed a worn old mattress beneath. He then took off his tan trench coat and shirt, and laid the trench coat across the bed. It was just enough to cover it entirely. Snow ripped his shirt in half and tied the ends into a knot and slung it over his shoulder. Hope then set her down gently on the bed. Just as soon as he did, Snow carefully removed his plaid sash from her wound. He lifted up her jacket slowly and examined the gash. He used his shirt to stop the bleeding as best as he could. Snow applied pressure to it and he continued to breath in and out heavily. He placed one hand against the side of her neck. A pulse, Lightning had a pulse still. He wrapped her in his trench coat as best as he could to keep her warm. He stared at her for a moment, hoping and wishing she would wake up. The light from the hole in the ceiling brushed across her pale white face. Her normally rosy appearance had faded.

“You’re going to make it Light,” He said giving a big exhale hoping she was going to be in the clear. “You are tough.”

“What do we do now?” Vanille cried, “Will she be all right?”

“All we can do is sit tight, and hope for the best,” Fang answered. “We’ll see how she’s doing in the morning.” The team filed out of the room quietly, but Snow stayed behind. He was knelt down beside her. He removed his black leather gloves that had Lightning’s blood all over them. He placed one hand on her wound, the other bare hand gently stroking her face.

“Please Light you have to be all right,” He spoke, with a quiver in his deep voice. A hint of genuine fear was creeping in. The thought of losing her was too much for him to bear. “I can’t lose you. Not like this. It was my job to keep you safe, and I failed.” He placed his forehead against hers. “Please Claire.” Snow whispered. “I-I care about you and-“ He gulped. Coming to grips with what he locked away earlier in the day. He opened the door he did not want to go through.  Admitting his feelings for Lightning he kept just beneath the surface.  
“And I-I-“ But Snow left those words unspoken still. He knew speaking them would destroy two lives. “I’m sorry Claire.” He raised his head. “Forgive me.” He looked up at the hole in the ceiling. He could see Cocoon floating above him. His eyes ran across her body and stopped at her hands. With the only clean hand he had left, he clutched hers. Lightly at first then he slowly tightened his grip. The normally stalwart man was shaking, unable to compose himself. He tried desperately to stop, unwilling to show weakness even if Lightning could not see him. He took a deep breath, let go, and got up from his kneeling position. Snow walked over to the doorway and closed its worn door as best as he could so the others would not hear him. He grabbed a rotting wooden chair from beside the bed dusted it off. By some miracle the chair did not break even a man as big as Snow in it. It creaked heavily as he leaned forward cupping his hands.

“I can’t hide it anymore Claire.” He spoke. A weight began to lift off of his shoulders. He watched her motionless face which still white as Snow.  He hoped for a sign of life from her. “It has been eating away at me since ever I met you. Now with the thought of losing you I just can’t deny it any longer.” His heart was thumping wildly inside his chest. “If I lose you now and I don’t tell you how I feel about you I will never forgive myself. I need you to recover.” He said reaching out for her hand again and gripped it tightly. “The thought of it scares me, and I don’t know how to come to terms with it.” Snow said, his voice getting softer. “T-the thought that I am in love with you, and not Serah.” His muscles tightened. “I have kept those feelings inside for as long as I could. Acting on them would destroy both of your lives, and…” Snow reached out for Lightning’s other hand. Her skin was cold to the touch, watching her bleed out was torture. Knowing that there was nothing he could do to help her was agonizing. Snow held both of her hands between his, like he was pleading with her.

“I shouldn’t have fallen in love with you. I’m not allowed to.” He watched her face hoping she would hear him just once. “Your voice, the way you move, your beautiful green eyes, your rosy scent. I even love the way you hate me. I can’t deny it any longer, but the thought that I’m in love with you scares me. That I’ve always felt this way and now I’m going to ruin both your lives.” Snow put on a quick smile. “If you were awake right now you’d tell me, ‘Shut up Snow, you talk too much’ which is probably right.” The smile quickly faded. “You’re right Claire, you always have been.” With that said, he gently put her hands down. With still no visible clue she was waking up, he brushed aside her pale pink hair from her face. Snow placed his clean hand gently around the back of her head his fingers sliding through her hair. His thumb rested in front of her ear. He pulled his body closer to hers. His heart stopped beating. Her scent was intoxicating. His shirtless body tensed up and a cold spike ran through his body. Snow leaned over and gently kissed her. Extremely slowly at first, he then pulled away just a few centimeters. He kissed Lightning once more, with more passion than before. But her lips never budged. After the second kiss he felt her body get warmer, but perhaps it was just his mind hoping it was. He pulled away slowly realizing what he had just done.
“I’m sorry, Light.” He whispered knowing that was all he could say. Getting up from his chair and leaned it against the wall. He sat back down in it and decided it was time to sleep. Snow hoped he could have gotten a response from Lightning but he heard nothing. As he closed his eyes for sleep, a single tear slid down Lightning’s right cheek, still warm to the touch from Snow’s hand.

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For the first time in a long time, Lightning awoke without a dream or nightmare. She remained perfectly still at first keeping her eyes closed. Painfully aware she was clearly injured. She felt pressure like something was wrapped around that area. She felt something gently wrapped around her, clothing of some sort. She inhaled deeply, suddenly realizing a familiar scent. It smelled slightly leathery with a hint of pine. Her heart stopped, her wound throbbed. It was Snow’s scent. She opened her eyes quickly staying motionless otherwise. Lightning moved her head up slightly to see what was going on. She was wrapped in Snow’s trench coat. His striped blue and white shirt was ripped and tied around her waist where the wound was. It was stained through and through black and red. Her wound throbbed uncontrollably now as her heart began to race.

She turned to her right and saw Snow –shirtless – with his arms crossed fast asleep in a chair angled up against a wall beside her. She was in a room unknown to her, and it was still mostly dark. It must have been very early in the morning; the room was filled with dark blue shadows, and yellow highlights. She laid her head back down and it came flooding back. She thought she was dreaming, but she quickly realized it was anything but that. Those words Snow had spoken to her. Lightning placed one of her hands over her mouth realizing Snow really did profess his love for her, she heard every word of it. Her heart stopped again, her body seized up. The man engaged to her sister is in love with her. She tried to breathe but her lungs wouldn’t take it in. She tried to move but her muscles wouldn’t go.  A cold sweat enveloped her body. Lightning’s mind was racing, and all she could think about was Snow Villiers. A man she hated through and through, who despite her best efforts made her way into her heart. Lightning put up walls, put on a façade, and none of it was enough. Someone made it through and it was someone she could not allow herself to love. Not just for her own sake, but for Serah’s. Lightning buried her face in the pillow. All she wished for was to scream as loud as she could. Her lungs refused. Her mind refused. Lightning’s mind was saying no but her body disagreed. She had secretly coveted a man beholden to her sister. Now that that Snow revealed his true feelings for her, she couldn’t fight it any longer. She longed for someone to break her defenses and love her for who she was. Lightning never thought that man would be Snow. She took her head out of the pillow, screaming was no use now. She pulled herself up, trying hard fight the pain. She stumbled to the floor beside the bed, the noise started to wake Snow. She climbed to her feet, and stood in front of that man. She looked upon Snow’s body, his hands red with her blood, his body shivering slightly from the cold. Lightning was boiling with anger. She wound up her hand and slapped his as hard as she could across his face. She sudden slap awakened Snow and he fell off the chair on the opposite side.

“L-Lightning!” He yelled getting to his feet. “You’re awake! What’re you doing, you need to rest!” Lightning pinned him against the wall with her arm, holding her wound with her other hand.

“Snow you bastard!” She yelled back, with unbridled fury. “Do you know what you’ve done?!”

“What do you mean?” Snow replied back, clearly shocked.

“Last night, I heard every word you said, you son-of-a-bitch.” Her eyes welling with tears, Lightning felt wound felt like it was tearing open. “You think it’s ok to just change your mind all the time, and pretend to love my sister?  Where do you get off doing something like this?”
Snow’s heart sank and he spoke, “I’m sorry Claire. I never wanted this to happen.”

“Like hell you did!” Lightning cried. “What’s this crap about always being in love with me?”

“I-I-“

“Spit it out!” She yelled at him pushing him harder against the wall.

Snow let go of Lightning’s arm. “I can’t fight you, Light. That day we threw your surprise birthday party. I knew I had feelings for you. I locked them away because I had feelings for Serah also.”

She punched him in the jaw. “How dare you!” Lightning yelled back. “What am I to you? A consolation prize?”

“No Light, I have always loved you, I just couldn’t admit it. Not to myself, and definitely not to you.” She said lowering his head. Snow could not look her in the eyes.

“Why not me?” Lightning asked.

“Because I knew you couldn’t love me.”

“That I couldn’t love you?” Lightning backed up a bit. “You’re brash, irrational, stubborn, annoying-“ Lightning paused for a moment, looked him in the eyes and then continued,  “-You’ve always been there for me Snow, and when I’m with you I can’t help but feel safe. You’re always on my mind and I need you in my life.” A tear ran down her cheek, “I’ve fallen for you.”

“Y-you what?” Snow’s heart stopped beating.

“You heard me hero, now come over here and save me.” Lightning put on a soft smile.

That’s all Snow needed to hear. He took a few steps towards Lightning and she put her arms around him. She held him close to her at first. Snow was so shocked he stood there awestruck. After coming to, she wiped the tear from her cheek and prepared to kiss her.

“I just need you Light, let me have you. I want to be your hero.” Snow smiled.

“Shut up and kiss me you fool.” Lightning pulled him closer. Her wound didn’t hurt anymore. Her stomach had butterflies in it and she was completely intoxicated by his scent.  Snow’s masculine body holding her tightly, keeping her safe, that’s what she really wished for. Lightning had no guard up, Snow was all she needed in her life. If only for this day, all she needed was him.

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They sealed it with a kiss.

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